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A policeman is on scene at a from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error. "Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch. "Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch scratch. He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. "Head on curb."

A man pulls up to the curb from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No," says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

While the pope was visiting the USA from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it. The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?" The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor." Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?" The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor." The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?" The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President." This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is m ore important than the President?!" The policeman calmly wispered: "I'll put it to you this way chief. I don't know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur."

When Mike got arrested they told him from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
When Mike got arrested, they told him, "Anything you say will be held against you." Mike said, "Claudia Schiffer's breasts."

I went to the store the other from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

HEADLINE A hole has appeared in the from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
HEADLINE: A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.

On a narrow mountains road a man from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
On a narrow mountain's road a man saw a police car driving uphill backwards. - Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards? - Because we are not sure that we will find the place to make u-turn on the top of the mountain. After one hour the same man saw the same police car driving downhill backwards again. - But guys, why are you driving backwards again? - We have found the place to make u-turn up there.

Santa Claus one smart and one stupid from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
- Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spotted hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money? - ??? - Stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don't exist.

Q Why would it be difficult to from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer? A: It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.

Q What problems would you face if from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

A cop pulls over a carload of from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow?" Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65." Cop: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on! Sister: Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful. At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. Cop: Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible. Sister: Oh, we just got off of highway 119.

Recently a distraught wife went to the from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

Polceman Im afraid that Im going to from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
Polceman: "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night." Man: "What's the charge?" Polceman: "Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service.

My horoscope read Youre going places and from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
My horoscope read, "You're going places and you can't be stopped." Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn't read it.

A police officer pulls a guy over from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver owned the car. Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it. Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body. Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too

A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two. One summer he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from a lawyer, eagerly agreed. When the time came, they spent a wonderful time, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors. One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were picking raspberries and blueberries for their breakfast, they were approached by two huge bears--a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. Seeing this, the lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and raced for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his hig h-powered rifle and raced back to the berry area with the lawyer. All the while, he was plagued by visions of lawsuit from his friend's family. He just had to save his friend. Luckily, the bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male. The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for?!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"

One Day Stupid Trouble and Shut Up from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window. Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names. "Shut Up", replied Shut Up. "Stupid", replied Stupid. The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. "Excuse Me!" shouted the chief. Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names. "Shut Up!" "Stupid!" The police chief was very riled. He then asked" Are you looking for trouble?"!!! Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied,"Why yes, how did you know?"

A brunette a redhead and a blonde from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat" He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof". The cop says, "its only a dog". He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato"

A cop pulls a guy over for from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?" The driver said, "You buyin'?"

While driving down the road the motorist from Flashcomment Police jokes Jokes
While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was just sitting there smiling and laughing. The motorist passed on by and went a couple of miles on down the road. All of a sudden he spun his car around and sped back toward the fortune teller. As he got closer to the still laughing fortune teller he began to slow down. He pulled up next to the woman and jumped out of his car and suddenly began slapping and beating her. A policeman passing by screeched to a stop and wrestled the man to the ground. After cuffing the man he stood him up and asked him, "What do you think you're doing?" After a moment the man replied, ... "Well, I've always wanted to strike a happy medium."